YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME

I try to spend most of my time speaking about the hardship &mother goes through trying to balance their job (may it be at home or outside) and motherhood, since motherhood by itself is already a full-time job.

But it is important to also speak about our lives as women, our interests and our bodies, yes that body that changes with the passing of pregnancy and time. Our body shape during and after pregnancy changes; stretchmark, varicose veins, extra weight are only some of the changes we go through. But as more kids come along and time passes by, our bodies take a life on its own and become someone else’s body, not ours.

And now we see those wonderful moms that come out in social media that have a perfect “10” body or shall we say perfect “0” body, since 10 as size number is considered overweight. My God, for me, is a perfect size.

Ok, so now we need to have tummy tuck surgeries, inject Botox, fix our boobs, exercise, work, bring up our kids perfectly well behaved and with strong self-esteem that will be accepted once finished schools with honors in some of the best universities in the world.

Are you kidding me?? What do you think we are made of? We are HUMAN BEINGS and as far as I know, nobody has created the magic pill where we don't grow old, get wrinkles, nor shrink with old age. And there are only 24 hours in the day, when are we supposed to ENJOY life. Going to work, take care of the kids, their activities, their tutoring, our to-do list…

So here I am a normal mom, with a normal body, whatever that maybe, with normal kids, but one thing I know for sure, a mom with normal loving kids, who whenever I get a chance I express to them the love and pride I feel for them from the first minute they were born.

So you know what dear wonderful &mother, find yourselves the time to also go out for a meal with your girlfriends, dinner with your love partner, have a great massage. But if you are one of those “0” moms, great for you, really, but if you are not, great for you too!!

So please do relax, everything will be all right and as Dr. Spock used to say “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do”, and not only trust yourself with your kid's education and upbringing but trust yourself and belief in your self no matter what your body looks like today.

SVS/SSH

Divorce is the new norm in families

                    So many people go through family and couples counseling to figure out their new lives and to try to fix their relationship.

                   Well, a 6-year-old wonder has done that with a message to their parents, please listen well and remember that you also may have a little one around you thinking the same but may not be able to express like this girl has.

All the best!!

SVS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vm0UNn7tJ5o

Are we over reacting over Flirtatious remarks to women?

In one of the articles I came across on a Spanish magazine regarding “piropos”, questioning two women if flirtatious remarks to women are actually a praise or harassment. Both women are professionals and in their 40’s. One of them completely against them, calling upon the feminist lobby to take care of this pending issue and the other one considering an exaggeration and waste of time in something that she did not consider to be a big issue.

It was brought up in the article about a new law in Brussels where verbal assaults are fined and that it should be considered to do that all over the world. Throughout the whole article, the behavior of man reactions towards the physical appearance of a woman is judge and criticized, considered by one of the woman as a downgrading of woman by her physical appearance.

While reading the article, there was a program on TV1 regarding college parties in Spain, where hidden cameras showed young women on podiums in discotheques and public parties getting drunk, dancing and getting undressed in front of hundreds of people.

So my question would be, aren’t we all a little distracted on the small details and leaving the wider picture out? Shouldn't we be looking more inside the homes, where the values and education are first taught? We all want to punish, to fine, to criticize or judge one gender or another. Then lets fine parents that don't teach their kids public behavior, civic education, values, lets start at the core of the problem. Or do we want a society afraid of expressing themselves, living as robots where no expression of any kind can be shown without being scared of a fine.

Please, can we speak now about positive reinforcement to our kids, about love, attention and teaching them the best way for them to express themselves and how to become better citizens of the world.

SVS

Help with the mother in law!!

            

            It is known through history daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law have complicated relationships.

            There have been articles and articles written about this matter and trying to find out a way to make things go smoother. As a mother of three BOYS, I wonder sometimes how will my relationship be with my future daughters-in-law.

Since being a child I was taught by my mother's advises how to deal with the mother-in-law.  At the end of the day, it is a matter of communication that makes a good relationship with the in-laws.

So many times I have heard from friends about their mother-in-law. Some would say “ she is like my mother”, but in reality, the mother-in-law has her own children and you will always be her son's wife. Don't go around looking for acceptance and blessings and concentrate more into the relationship with your husband and children because that is what is going to make your family happier. Once you have your family in order then everything will fall in place.

And please don't forget:

Don't criticize your husband for his relationship with his parents; do you want your future daughter-in-law to criticize your son’s relationship with you?

Don't come between your husband and his siblings. They will always figure things out as they did when they were children if they don't, a professional should help them, not you!!

You are the wife, not the daughter, let mother and son figure things out on their own. Even if it hurts you, you have to keep some distance.

Teach your son to respect grandparents from both sides the same. Then it will be up to the grandparents to earn their love.

Good luck!!

SVS

Oh my God, three boys?

            

            For many years now I knew I was a blessed woman. I had wonderful parents, loving brothers and then God gave me a great man to share my life with and the most wonderful three sons I just adore.

             Many people wished for me to have a daughter, and many people felt sorry for me. Today a good friend of mine sent me an article I did not write but I am so glad someone wrote. So please enjoy it and share with me the joy and happiness of having three sons.

SVS

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cheryl-donely/to-the-mother-of-all-boys_b_6991276.html

To the Mother of All Boys

by Cheryl Elizabeth

I am a mother of three boys. No daughters. Just three wonderful sons. So, I have always heard comments like:

Are you going to try for your girl?

Three boys... whoa... you must be tired.

Three boys. (Light-hearted laugh.) Man, I feel sorry for you.

Or that awful saying that goes something like this:

A son is your son until he takes him a wife. A daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life.

I love being a mom of boys and I know people aren't trying to be mean, so these kinds of comments don't normally bother me. (Well, maybe except for the last one... who wants to ever think their child will go off and never return? What a horrible thought.) But the remarks aren't exactly encouraging or uplifting either.

Recently though, I heard a comment about my boys that I continually turned around in my head until it seeped deep into my heart. It made me feel like I could not possibly be blessed more than by being a mother of three sons. My family and I were eating breakfast at my grandmother's senior living center. It was a normal family mayhem. My husband and I helped our kids through the buffet. ("No you cannot pile only donuts on your plate.") We were up and down during the meal refilling plates. We cleaned up an orange juice spill. Then our chaos was interrupted. 

A resident came over to our table and said to me, "You have such beautiful boys." She hesitated, as if trying to decide if she should say more before finally adding, "I have three sons too, and I love it. They take such good care of me." She said it with such joy and pride and went on to tell me how they treated her so well. The wisdom of her 90-something years and the passion in her voice as she spoke of her sons stirred my emotions. She ended our conversation by firmly stating, "They take better care of me than any daughter ever could. I am so happy I have three sons."

Her words were lovely and uplifting.

If I think about it, I can see my boys also being amazing to me if someday I find myself in her shoes...

They already have all kinds of superhero powers and are continually fighting off the villains that daily enter our home. I know they will always be my protectors.

I am their favorite girl and in many different ways, they tell me so each and every day. How lovely will it be to always have three handsome men visiting me no matter how old I am? That's got to be good for the ego.
With them around, do I really ever need to open a door for myself? I will always be treated like royalty.

You should see some of the stuff they come up with when building Legos or how they strategically place their Spy Gear around the house so they know exactly what is going on. To me, these are signs of brilliant, future adult minds, all capable of taking care of their mom.

And the energy my boys have? They for sure have enough energy to last them a lifetime. I don't think I could possibly wear them out, even if in my old age I get crabby and demanding. They will always have the energy to take care of me. 

As the lady from the retirement home walked away, I called to her, "Thank you for saying that to me." She turned back around and our eyes met. We exchanged a knowing look that only two mothers of all boys would understand, connecting us across two generational gaps.

Mother of all boys. Yes, I do believe I hit the jackpot. 

This post originally appeared as a guest post by Cheryl on Made to Mother. Cheryl blogs at Since I Became a Mom. Follow Since I Became a Mom on Facebook to receive blog updates.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cheryl-donely/to-the-mother-of-all-boys_b_6991276.html

ONLY ONE WAY OUT

           

              It is hard to write about anything now a day when you read and see the suffering people are going through all over the world. The attacks and killing of innocent people because of their religion or nationality, the cry for freedom, the spread of hate, and the need to suck the life out of humans is overwhelming. 

              There is no right side and there will never be as long as violence is used.  Not only violence but also the manipulation of humans through all means of communications controlled by only one side of the equation, and to see and experience how people are being brainwashed all over the world and our inability to do anything about it. History always repeats itself and to ignore that is just being blind. We need to find peace, tolerance, and understanding, or hate will arise again and it will be too late.

             Let us teach our children to be tolerant; this is the only way out of this madness!!

BREAKUP VIOLENCE

             Years ago, breaking up with your boyfriend was hard and sad but never deadly. It is incredible to see how much violence is in the news every day with the “ new” term, breakup violence. So what is the new advice to our girls, do not break up with your boyfriend alone? I am not trying in any way to make a joke out of it, it is just too scary what is going on all over the world. Either breaking up the marriage or the relationship is very scary, especially if the partner shows any violence or threat during the relationship.

             Now there are articles written about breakup violence awareness, it is so sad to know that a normal experience in life can become a dangerous one. It can really happen to anyone and it should not be taken lightly, it is the everyday political discussion in Spain, one of the countries with the highest number of domestic violence cases in the world. And unfortunately it does not happen to teenagers only, but to women and some men of all ages.

             Life brings all kinds of experiences, good and bad ones. Something goes wrong with these individuals when trying to overcome the break up of a relationship. What are we missing? How can we help them?

SVS