Filled with love: Madonna Badger at TEDxNightingaleBamfordSchool

LOVE, the most powerful energy. The heart opening story of a mother who lost so much

I come from a large family, 4 wonderful brothers, and me. 

Growing up I remember my mother's biggest concern, our safety and our health. She only thought of keeping us safe, I used to tell her that no matter what she did if something was going to happen it would happen anywhere anytime. But that did not convince her. The thought of losing one of us was unbearable. 

We sadly lost our mom too early, she was only 49, I was newlywed then and all my brothers single. Then one by one started to get married, and only a few years after her passing we lost one of our brothers. My family kept on saying over and over " thank God mom was not alive to go through this loss". 

Every parent's worst nightmare is losing a child, it is not supposed to happen ever and God protects our kids and gives them a longer much longer life than us. 

This short introduction is to tell you the story of a woman that did not lose one child, but three. Three daughters and her parents in a terrible fire on Christmas Day. In 2014 on TEDx talks, Madonna Badger gave an incredible, sad, and deep talk of her pain and survival and there would be no better person than her that has gone through so much loss to explain to the world her survival fight.

Madonna Badger: Filled with Love

Thank you Madonna for opening up your heart to us! May you always keep on receiving LOVE from everyone you meet in this lifetime.

SVS

The most important thing to give our children

Having brought up three young men, I think of their accomplishments and their downfalls. I try to find out what is that helps them through their toughest moments and makes them stronger.

We have always been proud of all their accomplishments, their will to finish up what they have started without expecting them to be perfect but to have strong self-worth and love for themselves and for others as well as for their heritage.

Bringing them up as young kids our most important and strong value was to teach them respect. To respect themselves as well as others, older and younger, we did not negotiate on this matter at all. No insulting nor bullying was allowed, for us, respect was the base of any child from a good, strong, and loving family.

Our constant show of love was most important at home, no matter the behavior, always after any punishment or scolding, we reinforced our love to them, separating their misbehavior from the child himself.

Now as young men, they remind us that what helped them through their hardest teenage years, their depressions, their falling out of love had been our love for them. That makes us feel that at least we have done that right.

We pray that our love will always make them stronger and safer in this difficult and confusing world.


In the end, what really matters in life is to show our kids the power of love!

SVS

YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME

I try to spend most of my time speaking about the hardship &mother goes through trying to balance their job (may it be at home or outside) and motherhood, since motherhood by itself is already a full-time job.

But it is important to also speak about our lives as women, our interests and our bodies, yes that body that changes with the passing of pregnancy and time. Our body shape during and after pregnancy changes; stretchmark, varicose veins, extra weight are only some of the changes we go through. But as more kids come along and time passes by, our bodies take a life on its own and become someone else’s body, not ours.

And now we see those wonderful moms that come out in social media that have a perfect “10” body or shall we say perfect “0” body, since 10 as size number is considered overweight. My God, for me, is a perfect size.

Ok, so now we need to have tummy tuck surgeries, inject Botox, fix our boobs, exercise, work, bring up our kids perfectly well behaved and with strong self-esteem that will be accepted once finished schools with honors in some of the best universities in the world.

Are you kidding me?? What do you think we are made of? We are HUMAN BEINGS and as far as I know, nobody has created the magic pill where we don't grow old, get wrinkles, nor shrink with old age. And there are only 24 hours in the day, when are we supposed to ENJOY life. Going to work, take care of the kids, their activities, their tutoring, our to-do list…

So here I am a normal mom, with a normal body, whatever that maybe, with normal kids, but one thing I know for sure, a mom with normal loving kids, who whenever I get a chance I express to them the love and pride I feel for them from the first minute they were born.

So you know what dear wonderful &mother, find yourselves the time to also go out for a meal with your girlfriends, dinner with your love partner, have a great massage. But if you are one of those “0” moms, great for you, really, but if you are not, great for you too!!

So please do relax, everything will be all right and as Dr. Spock used to say “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do”, and not only trust yourself with your kid's education and upbringing but trust yourself and belief in your self no matter what your body looks like today.

SVS/SSH

Divorce is the new norm in families

                    So many people go through family and couples counseling to figure out their new lives and to try to fix their relationship.

                   Well, a 6-year-old wonder has done that with a message to their parents, please listen well and remember that you also may have a little one around you thinking the same but may not be able to express like this girl has.

All the best!!

SVS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vm0UNn7tJ5o

Are we over reacting over Flirtatious remarks to women?

In one of the articles I came across on a Spanish magazine regarding “piropos”, questioning two women if flirtatious remarks to women are actually a praise or harassment. Both women are professionals and in their 40’s. One of them completely against them, calling upon the feminist lobby to take care of this pending issue and the other one considering an exaggeration and waste of time in something that she did not consider to be a big issue.

It was brought up in the article about a new law in Brussels where verbal assaults are fined and that it should be considered to do that all over the world. Throughout the whole article, the behavior of man reactions towards the physical appearance of a woman is judge and criticized, considered by one of the woman as a downgrading of woman by her physical appearance.

While reading the article, there was a program on TV1 regarding college parties in Spain, where hidden cameras showed young women on podiums in discotheques and public parties getting drunk, dancing and getting undressed in front of hundreds of people.

So my question would be, aren’t we all a little distracted on the small details and leaving the wider picture out? Shouldn't we be looking more inside the homes, where the values and education are first taught? We all want to punish, to fine, to criticize or judge one gender or another. Then lets fine parents that don't teach their kids public behavior, civic education, values, lets start at the core of the problem. Or do we want a society afraid of expressing themselves, living as robots where no expression of any kind can be shown without being scared of a fine.

Please, can we speak now about positive reinforcement to our kids, about love, attention and teaching them the best way for them to express themselves and how to become better citizens of the world.

SVS

Help with the mother in law!!

            

            It is known through history daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law have complicated relationships.

            There have been articles and articles written about this matter and trying to find out a way to make things go smoother. As a mother of three BOYS, I wonder sometimes how will my relationship be with my future daughters-in-law.

Since being a child I was taught by my mother's advises how to deal with the mother-in-law.  At the end of the day, it is a matter of communication that makes a good relationship with the in-laws.

So many times I have heard from friends about their mother-in-law. Some would say “ she is like my mother”, but in reality, the mother-in-law has her own children and you will always be her son's wife. Don't go around looking for acceptance and blessings and concentrate more into the relationship with your husband and children because that is what is going to make your family happier. Once you have your family in order then everything will fall in place.

And please don't forget:

Don't criticize your husband for his relationship with his parents; do you want your future daughter-in-law to criticize your son’s relationship with you?

Don't come between your husband and his siblings. They will always figure things out as they did when they were children if they don't, a professional should help them, not you!!

You are the wife, not the daughter, let mother and son figure things out on their own. Even if it hurts you, you have to keep some distance.

Teach your son to respect grandparents from both sides the same. Then it will be up to the grandparents to earn their love.

Good luck!!

SVS